1. |
I'm Gonna Die
03:05
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I go outside at night and scream at the sky
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
I don't bother anymore to ask myself why
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
I made a telescope to look at the sky
Cause I can't believe anything I can't see with my eyes
The choir's invisible, but I hear voices rise
singing "I don't know anything and I'm gonna die"
Every other second another one passes by
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
I wrote this stupid song and I don't know why
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
Love is a question and the answer's a lie
Life is a problem you can't solve for Y
When I think about the world, I howl and I cry
Cause I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
I bit the hand that fed me and now I'm gonna choke
I don't know anything and I'm gonna croak
I wanted some light so I started a fire
I don't know anything and I'm going to expire
You lie awake at night and ask yourself why
You'll get no sympathy, no not from I
You can't win anyway, so why even try?
You don't know anything and you're gonna die
I go outside at night and scream at the sky
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
[incoherent gibberish]
I don't know anything and I'm gonna die
If I know anything, it's I'm gonna die
If I know anything, it's I'm gonna die
If I know anything, it's I'm gonna die
If I know anything, it's I'm gonna die
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2. |
Sunny
02:22
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I get that urge every day when I'm walking down the street
to throw myself under each car that rockets past me
it's just a fleeting impulse, just a ghost haunting my heels
it wouldn't bother me so much but it seems like such a good idea
and I wanna smash every back window I see
I'm a little too dumb and far too angry
I'm a loser and a fuck-up, it's true
but at least I maintain a sunny positive attitude
community college dropout, fast food first day firee
but yeah I guess I am some kind of genius actually
so now i spend most of my time wallowing in misery
who needs self-destructive thoughts with debilitating anxiety
I want to destroy my brain sniffing airplane glue
but I'm such a goddamn loser that I'd probably fuck that up too
I'm a bottomless ego with no self-esteem it's true
but at least i maintain a sunny positive attitude
stick a knife in my eye
flay off all my skin
shoot me up with battery acid
let me burn from within
"unless you give it no one can take power over you" so you say
well that guy standing on your neck seems like he does okay
if you insist that every thunder cloud is silver lined
I'd retort that every turd gleams in the sunshine
I swallow your platitudes and feel my bile rise
and I think if i don't die alone, I'll die of surprise
and I'm a miserable bastard it's true
but at least i maintain a sunny positive attitude
but i know somehow I'm gonna make it through
cause if the whole world burns tomorrow I'll still have my sunny positive attitude
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3. |
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If I could draw a picture of your personality
It would be a faceless mannequin with no redeeming qualities
Your mind is just like a lump of dried-up Play-Doh
Formless and useless and left out in the sun
When you were little and they asked you what you wanted to be
And everybody else said astronauts and ballerinas
You said you wanted to work in a cubicle farm
and be a worthless underling with no 401K
You're too smart to be a moron but too dumb to be a scholar
Your opinion's like an asshole in that you're full of shit
You're completely unexceptional and you know it must be true
That everyone is special except you
Your username is your real name with some numbers at the end
Your password is "password" and you have no Facebook friends
Your Blog is all recaps of Dancing With The Stars
And your Twitter feed is all retweets of Kim Kardashian
If your soul was a food it would be an uncooked hot dog
You're so bland that everyone thinks that you grew up in a pod
If you were a candy bar you'd be plain and not peanut
Your parents said they loved you but they didn't really mean it
All you do is sleep and eat and shit and watch TV
You've never had an interest or a talent or a hobby
You're too smart to be a moron but too dumb to be a scholar
Your opinion's like an asshole in that you're full of shit
You're completely unexceptional and you know it must be true
That everyone is special except you
But you know that's kind of special in and of itself
If you're the only person alive with no reason to be
You're so totally boring that dullness could be
your singular defining quality
If I could make a statue of the person you are inside
It would be a featureless sphere, perfectly smooth and painted white
If I wanted to represent your total value to the world
I would pile up a bunch of useless junk and set it on fire
You're no good at anything; you're barely even alive
If we tore out your brain I bet your body would survive
All you do is sleep and eat and shit and watch TV
You've never had an interest or a talent or a hobby
You're too smart to be a moron but too dumb to be a scholar
Your opinion's like an asshole in that you're full of shit
You're completely unexceptional and you know it must be true
That everyone is special except you
That everyone is special except you
That everyone is special except you
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4. |
My Own Fault
03:29
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I don't know I don't know the right thing to do
but I know the right thing for me might not be
the right thing for you and I may ask your advice but I
don't have to listen there's no wrong or right
it's all my decision it's still my decision
it's still my life it's still my decision
it's still my life it's still my decision
it's still my life and
Maybe I'm tired of
the gremlin sitting on my wings and
tearing up my skin
it's my own fault if I fall
out of the sky and spiral down again
Maybe I'm ready to make my own mistakes
the same way all over again
it's my own call
it's my own fault
it's my own fault for giving in
I don't think I don't think I don't think I can take
Another lecture on life from the king of mistakes
Maybe I get confused but I know what my goal is
not to end up like you are: pathetic and soulless
And if you don't have passion you're not really alive
Though your heart is still pumping you're rotting inside
No if you don't have passion you're just not alive
And I've got my passion but
If you don't have passion you're not really alive
Though your heart is still pumping you're rotting inside
No if you don't have passion you're just not alive
You're an empty shell pumped up with sludge and outside
Just a grinning content little mannequin
Dolled up in ten tons of makeup and hair spray and draped
In whatever they're saying the new black is these days and maybe
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5. |
Haven't Felt Alright
02:31
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I don't believe in suicide
because I don't believe in life after death
but I might just like to give it a try
just so I could come back and tell you I was right
sometimes I think I might be clever
but most of the time I feel like there's rocks in my head
still I maintain a facade of urbane sophistication
whenever possible spewing out line after line of half-coherent jive
And I haven't felt alright in a very long time
So long ago I'm not sure it really happened
I read about it once in a history book
It said I'm not long for this world
I should probably just give up on all my dreams
I don't know much anatomy
But I'm pretty sure all my feelings live in my brain
So tell me why, when I feel my heart is breaking,
there's a sinking in my chest that doesn't fade?
And I haven't felt alright in a very long time
So long ago I'm not sure I can remember what it's like
I reside behind fifty layers of armor in my skull
I'm not long for this world
You don't get to tell me how to feel
You don't get to tell me if my feelings are real
You worry about your problems
I'll worry about my own
But it's the worrying that's killing me in the end
And I haven't felt alright in a very long time
I can understand those seeking an end
But I'm paralyzed into inaction by that one last shred of hope
Or maybe it's just my ego that's keeping me around
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6. |
Sty
03:26
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Feels like November
But it's hot like July
93 degrees in the shade
In my metal box it's 105
Basted in my juices
Irradiated by the tube
In a sea of background noise
There's not a thing worth listening to
Totally motionless
But for the beating of my heart
There's a sparking in my brain
But there ain't a fire to start
Nothing to live for
But I don't want to die
In a puddle of regret
Sitting here in my sty
But I'm not about to let this thing go
Not after all this time
Cause it's set in the back of my mind and time after time
It's made me feel like a worthless pig all covered in shit in my sty
Feeling out of touch
Like a left-over fad
But I'm sure from outside
My wasting away doesn't seem that bad
Trapped in the rotting shell
Of something long since dead
All the gold in me
Has turned back into lead
Never really felt the love
Never really knew it was there
Never thought I had a friend
Never thought anyone really cared
I looked in the mirror
And all I saw was a lie
Drowning in a puddle of regret
Sitting here in my sty
But I'm not about to let this thing go
Not after all this time
Cause it's set in the back of my mind and time after time
It's made me feel like a worthless pig all covered in shit in my sty
Can't move forward if I'm always sitting still
Feel I'm rolling backward like I'm falling down a hill
Dug in too deep and I'm planted in the mud
I don't want to be a tree when I grow up
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7. |
Heap
02:13
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Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I think that the price is too steep
Sometimes I think it might be too far to leap
Sometimes I slink in the corner like a creep
Sometimes it seems like the water's too deep
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I wish I had secrets to keep
Sometimes I've got too many secrets to keep
Sometimes I clam up and don't make a peep
Sometimes I ramble right up to the beep
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I can't go to sleep
Sometimes I can't stay asleep
Sometimes I go without sleep
Sometimes I collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
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8. |
Smile Till You Bleed
01:43
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smile till you bleed
you're on the cover of your own magazine
you can't let 'em know you're weak they'll eat you alive they're all piranhas so
smile till you bleed
smile till you're sick
keep a bucket by the bed yeah that's the trick
you may be falling apart inside but just keep flashin' them pearly whites
yeah lay it on double thick
smile till you cry
don't you let 'em see those long black spiders drawing down from your eyes
feelings are for losers you're a winner everything will be alright
just as long as you keep it bottled up inside
smile when you're dead
smile when you're bleeding from the head
smile when you're born and don't stop til your flesh rots down to nothing
and your jaw falls off your head
smile till you bleed
a big fat grin is the only thing you'll ever need
no reason to turn that upsidedown just staple back those cheeks
and keep on smiling till you bleed
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9. |
Nobody Loves You
03:34
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No messages on your machine cause nobody loves you
Nobody called while you were away cause they don't have nothing to say
Cause nobody loves you
Nobody loves you
No letters in your letterbox though you check it twenty times a day
No letters in your letterbox cause they don't have nothing to say
Cause nobody loves you
Nobody loves you
Nothing to do on Saturday night cause your friends all think you're a prick
Nothing to do on Saturday night, you know you really make me sick
Cause nobody loves you
Nobody loves you
Nothing to do and no one to call cause everyone thinks you suck
If you had half a brain you'd just give up cause you'd know you were out of luck
Cause nobody loves you
Nobody loves you
Do you wonder why nobody loves you?
Does your brain still work the whole night through
Trying to decipher that puzzling state
Of the whole wide world looking at you with hate?
Do you ever just sit for hours on end
Trying to decide how best to spend
Those last few hours before you blow
Your brains all over the wall?
Nobody came to your funeral cause nobody loves you
They were all out shopping with the money they made from selling your stuff
Cause nobody loves you
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10. |
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She's got a hold on me that I just can't describe
I'll take any drugs she will prescribe
She thinks she's got a handle on my mind
But I don't think she's got it right
I think she's tugging the wrong lines
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
She stares me down with her big black eyes
With that creepy look she fills my head with lies
I feel my body start to rise
I think she's moving me with her mind
I'm flying up into the sky
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
If I look at her out the corner of my eye
I can just make out what's under her disguise
She has bright orange hair and big blue lips
A big red nose with a bulbous tip
And vampire fangs. Oh boy, she makes me sick.
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
She makes me feel like I'm always in danger
She makes me say embarrassing things to strangers
I feel her presence in my brain
I think she's driving me insane
I think she's running through my veins
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
Today I woke up covered in human blood
It's been a week and my mail is piled up
The last memory I have
I came out of a movie feeling glad
What did I do? Should I feel bad?
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
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11. |
Vegetable
03:43
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Sometimes I think this intelligence is a burden on me
You know it makes me think I'd be happier as a tree
I know, trees can't be happy
but you know what I mean
all the worrying and obsessing over every little thing
is wearing me out
I think I'd rather be a vegetable than an animal
Hell, even a mineral, though they're not alive
But who's to say a rock's not happy?
Couldn't be sadder than this sad sack of meat
If I didn't think so much I'd be happy
If I were a vegetable I wouldn't think at all
If I didn't think at all I'd be happy as shit
Ignorance is bliss so I hear
all those idiots sure seem contented
at least when they're pumped full of beer
at some sporting event
or gawking at toddler debutantes on TV (or watching some wholesome unscripted family TV)
they've got commercials to tell them what to think
they're too stupid to question it so they
don't feel worthless in the face of infinity
but I can't stand this consciousness anymore
I'd rather be oblivious again but the only way back I know
involves a power drill inserted into my prefrontal cortex
If I didn't think so much I'd be happy
If I were a vegetable I wouldn't think at all
If I didn't think at all I'd be happy as shit
and I wouldn't miss it
cause I wouldn't be capable of nostalgia anymore
think I'll throw myself in front of a truck
and hope for a coma
I could use the vacation
and if they pulled my plug
I wouldn't be worried
cause vegetables don't worry about anything
and it's the worrying that's making me so God damned miserable
what am I using my brain for anyway?
Well everything I guess, but that's not the point
everything would be so much better
if I were a vegetable or just better
at ignoring the stark bleak horror that is my existence
but I'm not so I might as well stick my head in the microwave
and hope for a tumor to break up the monotony
if I'm going to go it oughta be horrible
and gruesome the kind of thing they'd sell tickets to
we could have my funeral first so I could be there
while you all try to talk me out of it
If I didn't think so much I'd be happy
If I were a vegetable I wouldn't think at all
If I didn't think at all I'd be happy as shit
and I wouldn't miss it
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12. |
The Natural Way
03:49
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One foot in the river and the other in the grave
One choice is the fryer the other is the flame
So pump me full of chemicals before I go insane
Yeah it's the natural way
Laugh now like a jackal though your world is on fire
Laugh your damned head off though you're sinking in the mire
Laugh cause your only other choice is to fall into a heap
Laugh though you're still losing sleep
But it's the natural way to feel insane
It's a test that you're failing every day
You mistook the world for a morality play
Now you're staring down the tunnel and you don't feel okay
But it's the natural way to feel insane
I secretly believe and you secretly don't
All dogs go to heaven, so critical thinkers probably won't
Give me your opinions and I'll give you all the facts
But I don't think you're up to the task
How does it feel to know no one's keeping score?
Does it feel you're ever inching your way up to Death's door?
Doesn't that distant gnawing notion suit you just fine?
Don't you love the tingles up your spine?
But it's the natural way to feel insane
It's a test that you're failing every day
You mistook the world for a morality play
Now you're staring down the tunnel and you don't feel okay
But it's the natural way to feel insane
Everything is beautiful and everything dies
Everything is wonderful and everybody cries
Everything is sacred and everything rots
Nothing lasts forever whether you like it or not
Life is a system that succumbs to decay
Like everything else it must break down someday
Maybe entropy, too, is a system that can break
I sure hope so for heaven's sake
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13. |
Your Wasted Life
03:33
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one more minute till you've had your fill
ten more years till you say "when"
all your reflexes are honed to razor's edge but still
you won't say "go" till it's too late to begin
all the days
turn into weeks
turn into years
too fast to count
too slow to stand
too far to ever get back
it took far too long to get there
and now you've used up all your time
and you're stuck behind the
severe tire damage sign
you had it all planned out and everything was going swell
but now it's twenty years too late for you to go back to the well
you were never that good at anything and you never really cared
now you look yourself in the mirror and there's nobody there
you could always go back to school
and get another degree
but no matter how much you learn
you're still as dumb as a tree
you've got no original ideas
and you've got too much ADD
to even follow the leader anyway
so just go watch some TV
but there's nothing wrong with your wasted life
makes no difference we're all just killing time
don't let 'em tell you
you could have been somebody
you were destined for mediocrity
you were meant to be a chump
in a past life you were a slug
this is barely a step up
I know corpses with more to live for
but just look at it this way
you may be dumb but
at least you're miserable
"I'm not going to wait in this line for one more goddamn second!
what the hell ever happened to customer service? I'll take my business elsewhere!
don't you give me that look, you little shit!
get me the manager! who's in charge of this dump?
I'm important can't you see? I'm not like all these other chumps"
all the days
turn into weeks
turn into years
too fast to count
too slow to stand
too far to ever get back
it took far too long to get there
and now you've used up all your time
and you're stuck behind the
severe tire damage sign
but there's nothing wrong with your wasted life
makes no difference we're all just killing time
you'll be dead soon anyway, so go ahead and have another donut
you might as well try and enjoy the ride this time
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14. |
A7 Blues
02:34
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Got a heart that's made of lead
It sinks into my chest
Because my guts are made of stuffing
And my bones are made of bread
Got a heart that's made of lead
It's sinking like a stone
And I'm melting in a rainstorm
Leaving just my soggy bones
Got a heart that's made of lead
Ain't no use for pumping blood
Just a hunk of useless metal
And it sure ain't good for love
Got a soul that's made of kerosene
and it goes up with a spark
and it burns out of my body
leaving me here in the dark
And it melts my metal heart
which burns a hole right through my chest
And I'm leaking like a colander
leaving only my regrets
Got a soul that's made of kerosene
but now it's up in smoke
Now I'm just an empty shell
It makes me wish I'd never spoke
Got a spine that's made of jelly
So I guess I'm just like you
Like to think that I'm unique
But I'm a worthless zombie, too
Got a spine that's made of jelly
And it really makes me sick
And I'm choking down a cactus
And I'm shitting thirty bricks
It's yellow like my belly
Guess I might as well be a slug
Got a spine that's made of jelly
And I sure ain't good for love
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15. |
Paul the Psychic Octopus
02:30
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People in the world today believe all kinds of stupid shit
Like healing crystals and horoscopes and transubstantiation
But me, I don't buy into any of that crap
I'm spreading the word about a new sensation
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Invertebrate, but very good at predicting the outcome of sporting events
Nobody knows how he does it but he's almost always right
And that's proof enough to me that he's the second coming of Christ
He told me not to get on that plane and don't you know it crashed
He told me not to eat that roast beef and I got painful gas
He told me Global Warming was fake then we got all that snow
He told me not to drill for oil in the Gulf of Mexico
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Ain't got no spine but don't you mind he knows the length and breadth of time
He always gets the winner right no matter what game they play
And eventually he'll fight the Devil at the end of days
Cast your eyes down when you're standing at his tank
Cause if he looks you in the eyes he'll read your mind
And if he senses any evil in your heart
he'll use his telekinetic powers to pop your head just like a grape
So if you're drifting through this world without a purpose
Searching desperately for something to believe in
Just open up your heart and let his tentacles embrace it
Nothing ever can replace it
Baby you'll just have to face it
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
I believe he gets his information straight from the mouth of the soccer god
And if somebody says he's just some stupid lame-brained cephalopod
I do believe I'll punch them in the throat
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16. |
Death Knell
02:35
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Well the sky may be falling in
And we all may be called back to Heaven
But tragedy is the only guarantee in life
and it binds us all together
And unlike some people I can't
take the pain of the world
and make it all about me but there's
a tiny part of me that dies
every time I turn on my cable TV
Everything is either dying or dead
"YOU'RE NEXT" screams the nasty little voice in your head
But it was always this way
There were no good old days
Life has always been a screaming mass of decay
You can squeeze all the joy out of it
try to seize the day
Try for fame and fortune or live like a monk
and crucify yourself for everyone you meet
but you'll end up in the same place
If you recognize that you've never been that happy maybe now won't seem so bad
Everything that you've ever believed in was just a giant load of crap
Misery is the only guarantee on Earth as it is in Heaven
But I don't believe in God so I think we have to
take care of each other cause no one else will
The cockroaches shall inherit the Earth
Once the psychopaths nuke it to Hell
Whatever happened to the meek?
Won't somebody speak up?
Get your last orders in before the next death knell
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17. |
Two-Dimensional Blues
02:11
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there's a little red spot out on the highway
I think it was a frog
had a fight with an 18-wheeler
and don't you know he lost
I do believe he was just hopping along
trying to get back to his log
now he's crushed into the asphalt
need a spatula to scrape him off
oh why'd they have to drive that road right through his home?
can't those big mean automobiles just leave him alone?
now his bones and organs are squished together
he's all flattened out and smooth
and he's got the two-dimensional blues
poor mr. turtle trying to keep up with the hare
he thought his shell would protect him I guess nature failed him there
walkin' on down the road he had a tiff with an SUV
now there's bits of him in Georgia
and bits in Tennessee
oh why'd they have to drive that road right through his home?
can't those big mean automobiles just leave him alone?
now his bones and organs are squished together
he's all flattened out and smooth
and he's got the two-dimensional blues
ain't seen a chicken out there
playing chicken yet
ain't never seen one smushed into a paste
from all those stupid punchlines I had the impression
they were crossing roads all over the place
little hat over here, little hat over there
those raccoons sure are crafty but they get splattered everywhere
seen some armadilloes rustling in the bushes at night
but I see them all the time in pieces on the roadside
oh why'd they have to drive that road right through their homes?
can't those big mean automobiles just leave them alone?
now their bones and organs are squished together
they're all flattened out and smooth
and they've got the two-dimensional blues
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18. |
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People in the world today believe all kinds of stupid shit
Like healing crystals and horoscopes and transubstantiation
But me, I don't buy into any of that crap
I'm spreading the word about a new sensation
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Invertebrate, but very good at predicting the outcome of sporting events
Nobody knows how he does it but he's almost always right
And that's proof enough to me that he's the second coming of Christ
He told me not to get on that plane and don't you know it crashed
He told me not to eat that roast beef and I got painful gas
He told me Global Warming was fake then we got all that snow
He told me not to drill for oil in the Gulf of Mexico
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Ain't got no spine but don't you mind he knows the length and breadth of time
He always gets the winner right no matter what game they play
And eventually he'll fight the Devil at the end of days
Cast your eyes down when you're standing at his tank
Cause if he looks you in the eyes he'll read your mind
And if he senses any evil in your heart
he'll use his telekinetic powers to pop your head just like a grape
So if you're drifting through this world without a purpose
Searching desperately for something to believe in
Just open up your heart and let his tentacles embrace it
Nothing ever can replace it
Baby you'll just have to face it
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
I believe he gets his information straight from the mouth of the soccer god
And if somebody says he's just some stupid lame-brained cephalopod
I do believe I'll punch them in the throat
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19. |
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She's got a hold on me that I just can't describe
I'll take any drugs she will prescribe
She thinks she's got a handle on my mind
But I don't think she's got it right
I think she's tugging the wrong lines
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
She stares me down with her big black eyes
With that creepy look she fills my head with lies
I feel my body start to rise
I think she's moving me with her mind
I'm flying up into the sky
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
If I look at her out the corner of my eye
I can just make out what's under her disguise
She has bright red hair and big red lips
A big red nose with a bulbous tip
And vampire fangs. Oh boy, she makes me sick.
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
She makes me feel like I'm always in danger
She makes me say embarrassing things to strangers
I feel her presence in my brain
I think she's driving me insane
I think she's running through my veins
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
Today I woke up covered in human blood
It's been a week and my mail is piled up
The last memory I have
I came out of a movie feeling glad
What did I do? Should I feel bad?
My psychiatrist is trying to melt my brain
But if I tell anyone, I'll just come off insane
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20. |
Creep Heap (Bonus Track)
03:25
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Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I think that the price is too steep
Sometimes I think it might be too far to leap
Sometimes I slink in the corner like a creep
Sometimes it seems like the water's too deep
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I wish I had secrets to keep
Sometimes I've got too many secrets to keep
Sometimes I clam up and don't make a peep
Sometimes I ramble right up to the beep
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
Sometimes I can't go to sleep
Sometimes I can't stay asleep
Sometimes I go without sleep
Sometimes I collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might collapse in a heap
Sometimes I think I might die in my sleep
Sometimes I think I've lost count of my sheep
Sometimes I think I've lost count
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21. |
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It doesn't matter if you like me at all
Cause I've got a friend and we don't need you at all
It doesn't matter if you like me anyway
Cause I've got a friend at the end of the day
It doesn't matter if I'm not a good-looking guy
Cause my friend he doesn't have any eyes
It doesn't matter if I'm a real cool dude
Cause my friend doesn't have that kind of attitude
I've got a pet rock waiting at home
His name is George and he's all alone
His interests are skiing and getting stoned
I've got a pet rock waiting at home
It doesn't matter if he can't move an inch
Cause I can pick him up and carry him
It doesn't matter if he can't read or write
Cause I can read him a story every night
It doesn't matter if he's not a regular dude
Cause I don't have that kind of attitude
It doesn't matter if we're not your average friends
Cause we'll both be together till the very end
I've got a pet rock waiting at home
His name is George and he's all alone
His interests are skiing and getting stoned
I've got a pet rock waiting at home
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22. |
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One! Two! Three! One, two, three, fourteen!
Purple monkey feet
Anaconda meat
With two bucket seats
Through rain, snow or sleet
I think I've got a chain
Wrapped around my brain
Drivin' me insane
But I can't complain
I'm stuck in a rut
There's something up my butt
And I'm out of luck
Cause I think I'm stuck
Rounding third base
With panties on my face
And then I got first place
And shot it into space
King of Iron fist
Sweating monkey's pits
and Sierra Mist
is liquid donkey shit
Two is more than one
Fourteen is less than five
And if you think that's a lie
Just count from one to five
One, two, three, fourteen, five
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23. |
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Look out there's a dragon behind you!
Look out there's a dragon on your ass!
I don't mean to tell you your business
but I thought you ought to know
that there's a dragon riding up your crevasse!
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The Great Joe Bivins Orlando, Florida
Eight feet tall if he were an inch! Arms like two great tree trunks with hair like a fiery-brown mane of a lion that'd been kinda sick! Scraggly multicolored beard that granted wishes! Wishes with IRONIC CONSEQUENCES! With a voice like a great grizzly bear if bears were really good singers! Oh I seen him, doncha tell me I didn't see him with Paul Revere ringin' them bells! ... more
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